Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
