How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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