At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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