Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
