Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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