I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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