His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
