he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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