He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
where does the pee come out of this thing
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
