Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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