Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize