I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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