ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
