Where is the hickey?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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