He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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