and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
