hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
