we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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