you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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