I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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