people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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