I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
