I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
