Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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