I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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