so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
