Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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