you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize