he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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