So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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