remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
