I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
