***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
