Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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