first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
