NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
