When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
