Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
