He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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