Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
