It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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