So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
