...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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