i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize