I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
