using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
