im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
