you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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