I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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