he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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