So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
