he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
