Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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