Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
