I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
