i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
