the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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