I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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