i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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