You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
