The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
