Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
