Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
4 words: hood of his car
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
